The Labor

Be careful for what you wish for cause you just might get it.

I never understood why that phrase was always used so negatively. Careful what you wish for- so if I wanted a whole new Gap wardrobe ( i need one desperately) and I wished for it, and if it came true, then that is not a bad thing. It would be a terrific thing to happen.

I wished for my labor for my second child to be very different than Jack's. Jack was very simple; no contractions, straight to the hospital,have a baby via c-section 2 hrs. later. Round 2 was a whole lot different. Those contractions are extremely intense, and I have a whooooole lot of respect and admiration for women that give birth naturally.
I couldn't do it naturally however as I couldn't think or see straight when my contractions happened. My body tensed up, I couldn't breathe, I was almost at the point of hyperventilation. I needed something to just make my body relax and gave in to the epidural. Blugh.
All the while cursing myself that I wasn't strong enough to take the pain and do it naturally, as how I wanted to do it in the beginning. My mind went from "this epidural will make things a whole lot better" to " be strong! This will be over soon! You don't need this!!! Tell these docs that you changed your mind. NOW!!!"
In labor, you really need to have a Plan B or Plan C. I think I knew all along that in the end, Baby #2 would be another c-section. Something haunted me all along to ask my doctor every possible question of "what will you do when this happens? Say I don't dilate enough and I have been in labor for 20 hrs? Then what?"
Every possible scenario that I brought to my doctor happened on November 13. In the end, a c-section did happen, I was given more drugs to calm myself from screaming in the operation room. When I awoke, I saw my husband holding a baby. Our baby?
I asked him what do we have and he said "We have a boy". A boy?????? Whatever happened to all those sweet cupcake and cake cravings that I was having for the past 9 months? Everyone said that I was having a girl. In the end, I expected a girl so when I heard boy I wanted to laugh. But my tired body and mind told me to pass out again so I did. Only to wake up about 4 more times and ask my husband over and over "What did we have? "

We have another boy, born just 15 minutes past midnight and we couldn't be happier. He's healthy, he's well, and that is what we wanted the most and wished for the most.
So, be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it.
I wished for a healthy baby - and now we have one.