The Party of One

So life as a mom of two for almost three years now.

OH . MY.

Life has it's sweet moments. Double the kisses, double the hugs, double the I love yous.
There is also double the I want  your attention now screams, double the I don't want to eat that for dinner, double the "Time for bed" call outs.

I say Party of One since the husband works nights. Therefore it is just me and the boys for at least 4 days out of the week. I slowly realized today that I have become the pain in the ass parent.
The parent that demands the kid to eat. The parent to tell the kid to do their homework. Would you like someone to tell you all the time to do your homework?? NO. I thought so.
The parent that tells their kid that no TV will be watched. The parent that tells their kid to go to bed early.
The parent that battles their kid to go back to bed for the 10th time.

Everything is a battle now. And I am not sure on how to ease any conversation without losing my head. Right now we are living in a phase of constant crying for attention, and not being able to control feelings. A certain kid of mine is in this phase. Since I see this every night, all the time, after already coming home from grueling day of work, I am finding it hard to be the fun mom. I know my kids are young only once. I have been told from many a facebook post that kids are people too. Kids have feelings too so therefore, there is no need to lose control of yourself. Whoever wrote that meme is someone I want to meet. REALLY BADLY. Does that person have a kid that loses it daily? Hmmm.

I also have to keep a schedule at night, so that there is no oversleeping in the morning the next day.
Everything I do at night, I do it so that things are easier for the husband in the morning. I'm exhausted. I eat just but I'm not at all hungry. I only eat so my kids can watch me eat, in hopes that they too will get the idea to eat at least one dinner with me. Writing that now makes me realize that is a dumb theory. Who told me that??

I pray to myself to become a more patient person every day. The next day I am. But when you are the single parent ( especially on school nights) that patience is hard to find. It's there , but it comes and goes.

All in good time I guess. This post is by no means a solicitation for sympathy. However, should you feel bad for me, please feel free to make me feel better and stop by with a milkshake around 9:30 pm.